My first blog post

Featured

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

Can you just regurgitate your thoughts onto a page and call it a blog? Well……… I am.

I have so many thoughts (not any different than anyone else) and I decided to write them down and share them (also no different from anyone else) but I have this vain idea that my ideas will be funnier, and better, and run faster… (no, that’s also the same as everyone else…) Well then, I have no idea why I am writing this blog and expecting anyone else to read it, but it’s being done. And it will be done.

post

Unrequited

Almost everybody has had a first love. Someone whose last name you doodled all in your notebooks until your pen bled through the paper. Someone who you pictured making a life with, raising a family with, and getting old with. But sometimes it doesn’t always work out the way you expect it to. Unforeseen circumstances block pathways to your happily ever after.  And make you forge a new path that was totally unexpected, but this doesn’t always have to be bad.

But see now, I’ve got a problem. I’m not even a follow your heart kind of gal. I’m pretty calculated and precise. Probably why I originally had chosen to be a doctor. I think first and act never sometimes. But I usually try to do things I know are good for me. So even though it seems like my heart is permanently stuck to someone from my past, I can kind of turn it on and off like a light switch. Is this good, you ask? Probably not. Isn’t that kind of like repression and avoidance? Yeah, probably so. But will it all turn out ok in the end? Absolutely.

So, now that I’ve obscurely started this post as vaguely with no details as possible (really sorry about that) I can kind of go into a little history and background…

I recently ended a “friendship” with an ex. (Can you really ever be friends with an ex?) I usually cut my exes off completely and never contact them again, but for some reason, this one I hung on to. Maybe because it was at a time of my life that I needed someone familiar, someone that was already well versed in Miyadom and all her wonderful quirks. Or maybe it was a weakness on my part, not wanting to be alone. Either way it made quite a mess for me.

Even with my repeated admonishments that we would never ever ever… get back together (I love that Taylor Swift) and not allowing for any kind of reconnecting or bonding on my part, somehow, he still held onto a possibility that after all was said and done, we would get back together. So much so that when he got drunk, he decided to call my current partner and challenge him to a duel (Oh, if only this were King Arthur times, it would make more sense, but no, I’m talking about 2017, and yes this really happened) So, secondhand, I heard of all the things that were said, and how he really believed that he would get me back. But none of this in a nice way.

Way more trouble than it was worth. So I ended it. And now I’ve shared it with the world. Or my 3 followers…

Cambio

Life has a way of blindsiding you sometimes. Of popping you square in the jaw, knocking you off your feet and flat on your bum. Sometimes when you really think you have life figured out and are ready to move forward, you realize that it’s not where you need to be. Lol. Everything sounds scary but when you really sit down and think about it, you are where you’re supposed to be. 

Trust in the process. 

Beginning anew. Again. 

Tags

, , , ,

Sometimes it’s time for people to cast aside old habits and begin anew. A new year. A new you. Scoff. Like it’s a new edition. Turning in my dusty, rusty, old self, full of excuses and bad habits for a shiny new motivated version. Get the the new 2017 model!! It starts like a charm and won’t give you any procrastination!

Now wouldn’t that be nice? Because of this great attitude I have towards this lifestyle it seems I am a little jaded and my point of view is skewed. But it is my point of view. My goal in life is to become a better judger. I know people strive to not make judgements against people.  But I’m gonna go against the current this way I know that where I’m going is correct as long as I feel that constant push of tension guiding me, flowing against me.

And by this I mean, not judging people based on things they cannot change. But to really be able to know if a person is good for me or not. Instead of blindly always feeling as if I should give someone the benefit of the doubt. To truly take the time to see their soul. To make sure that their vibrations align with mine and they want at least some of the things that I want.

I have a bad habit of being a ‘fixer’. I like to think that, “Oh, with just a little time and effort put into them, they will be juussssttt right.” Hahhahaha. I guess I’ve finally learned that that’s not the way to go. If you accept people for who they are exactly as they are, then there are no surprises. And that’s definitely the way to go.

Freedom

Tags

, , , ,

I recently read a post about a girl that is traveling the world, with her son, in her minivan. She has nothing except the bare essentials, (a hot plate, a few toiletries, some clothing, books and toys for her son), and is enjoying the FULLEST out of life. I mean, random adventures and relaxation, teaching moments and learning moments. The whole 9 yards. I day dream about this and then it gets me thinking.

What if I was to cut myself out for a world and move to one of no responsibilities or schedules except what I wake up with in my brain? What would I even do with myself? Am I a free enough bird that I could truly relax and not be scrambling to follow some sort of itinerary and timeline to get things done?

Would I be able to relinquish my societal judgements long enough to realize it doesn’t really matter what degrees I have or what my job title is if I’m providing for myself and staying happy and healthy?

What a life.

Man, even as I sit here I smile thinking about all the NOTHING I could do. That would be it. Just a whole lot of nothing.

I love it.

Happy International Woman’s day!

Tags

, , , , ,

I have nothing short of a plethora of role models with the women in my life.

My sister who always striving to be a better person even though she makes everyone in our lives immensely proud of her. She constantly works to better herself and is stuffing her brain full of knowledge and tactics on how to become a better person. Never satisfied with where she is currently. And I admire that because every day in your life should be a step forward at trying to become a better person.

My mother who was such a hard worker from the time I was born she constantly worked her fingers to the bone at the consequence of me not seeing her much as a child, but I’m able to reap the benefits now as an adult not only because of the comfortable lifestyle that she has set up for my sister and I but the evidence of the grind that I got to see everyday growin up. That success doesn’t come without hard work. Without my mom I may not have understood the freedom of entrepreneurship and the fact that there is no glass ceiling for women. Even with her being in an immigrant coming from another country barely speaking any English she has busted out every stereotype anybody could possibly make for her and is truly my hero.

My grandmother coming from the 1920s, although she is a tiny little ninja still has the will power of an ox and is very able bodied and active. She, although barely 95 pounds soaking wet, is full of wisdom and stories from her past that she shares with me and I cherish the conversation that we get to have and feel blessed to have my grandmother still around with me today.

An unlikely but worthy subject of my adoration is actually my stepmother, she also (although not the first person you would think of when I think of somebody that I strive to be like) I am much impressed by her capability to shrug things off and be an all-around happy person. I really love her easy-going personality and am trying to see her qualities in myself as I grow.

So as you can see I am an extremely lucky woman! I had, and still have a cadre of women surrounding me, being my network, my stabilizing structure for growth. Even women who are not in my family that are my acquaintances show me daily the strength of a woman. Any ceilings placed before me don’t exist in my mind, as I have effortlessly surpassed them over the years. Without these women, I would not be the wonder woman I am today. Without them I wouldn’t feel the strength and confidence to take risks and keep it moving! I am so grateful for a family of these women in my life.

Embark 

Tags

, , , ,

A million thoughts flooding my head as I sit here staring at the vertical light my vertical blinds are casting across my lap. The morning sun is fresh and brighter than the light of the afternoon sun. Or so it seems early in the morning. My freshly brewed cup of steaming Ethiopian coffee smells delightfully of chocolate and oak in my nostrils as I sit here thinking of my next steps. My next move. My next play. Today is when the wheels are set in motion. Today is when my to-do list triples in size. When my future is starting to be carved out by my very own hands. The problem is fear. I’m a very routine person when it comes to my life, choosing instead to rely on systems.

A system is created to reduce mishaps, stress and anxiety. A system is put in place to have a set of rules to fall back on and keep your life going even when you fall off track. But what happens when you purposely pull the emergency shut off lever. When you derail your tracks and decide to embark on a journey not so comfortable or anywhere closely resembling your system. That’s when fear sets in.

But isn’t that what sets apart the doers and the sayers? People who are “gonna” do something new or “wanna” be something different? The people that take that blind leap of faith and trust that their ability and love for what they want will guide them and keep them on path. But what then? What I f it doesn’t work.

Then it’s ok. Life still goes on. Every lesson is a life lesson. A chance to learn from it, and I appreciate all of those moments I have in my life. So even as I sit there and let that first dot of doubt enter my mind. As easily as it comes in I let it float out. Transforming that seed into a wispy cloud and allowing it to float right back out of my mind. And with that I have solace. I have comfort in the fact that I can. And I will. And that in and of itself will be enough to keep going.

Happy discounted chocolate day!

Tags

, , , , ,

Ahhhh. Feb. 15. The day the aisles glare with a mishmash of red, pink and white spewed all around, but most importantly… Huge 75% off signs everywhere your little wanna be diabetic heart could desire. But don’t get it twisted. I’m not an anti-valentines day girl. Lol. But I’m also not a mushy gushy girl. But hey, who doesn’t enjoy a box of chocolates once a year. Anyways. I could sit here and wax poetic about chocos all night, but that’s not why I got on here. Actually, dundunduhhhh!!! My foodie website will be launching in the next two weeks, and I just wanted to get some ideas out on paper. So if you enjoy finding a good, healthy substitutes recipe, alongside a how-to for a DIY tufted wingback fabric headboard. Then look no further! High heels and hammers is almost done! Sigh. That name sucks. I keep going back to it though, even though I know I need it to have SOMETHING to do with food. And I love alliteration. But Ho Hos, high heels and hammers just doesn’t roll off the tongue quite right. >.<

Why do I want to write?

Tags

, , ,

I decided to start writing more regularly to tap into my inner creativity and start a lifestyle that fits more into my philosophy of life. I want to create a source of income based on something I love and creative writing is a distant love that I quelled because of fear of failure. But now I know that without risk. Without stepping out of my comfort zone I will be doomed to play this sad song on repeat and never get the fulfillment that I deserve. I want to make sure that my “job” is not a job but something that I if I continue to do it will enrich my life and make me a better person as I do so. I love to make people happy and I love to cook. So amongst these things is a life that I can call my own.

Realignment

So I had plans for this post today. I try to plan them out or at least gets topic going in my head before I start mashing fingers to keys. But just before I started writing this I watched a video blog of a friend that was focused on realignment and realized complaining wasn’t the way to go. So instead of complaining, I will readjust. I have gone through quite a few changes lately in my life’s path. I decided to withdraw from med school and focus on my health, I’ve moved cross country away from my town, my friends, my sister. T-T cry cry… I’ve cut off all contact from a really good friend, but was decided that was for the best. It’s just a lot of change at once, and I’m doing my best to maintain.

Regardless, I’ve been trying to look at my new path as a new journey, because as we all know, the journey is where the fun is. I am trying to look at this new beginning as a fresh start and a chance to really take some time for myself and get back on my path of enlightenment. Do more yoga, eat less junk food (hah) I have been sober for 40 days right now and although it started out as a challenge, I am actually loving it right now. Of course, it makes me feel like an old woman, because every time I want to stay out late and chat with friends, I end up cancelling and just going to bed early with a book. >.< I can’t even imagine how happy that makes everyone right now.

So using this time to realign my path, get back on track and start reaching these lofty and absolutely attainable goals I have set for myself has been consuming my time. It helps me keep busy and in the meantime set myself up for some nice business in the end. Man, my blogs suck. I need to get my thoughts together a little better before I just start writing. I think a little organization and planning can go a long way for this idea I had. But at least I can write with reckless abandon, knowing no one is reading them. 😛

Daily Prompt: Recharge

Tags

, , , , ,

via Daily Prompt: Recharge

Recharge. I love that word. When I leave my yoga classes in the morning, I feel recharged. When I have a particularly good socializing sesh with my sister or friends after a long week of studying, I feel recharged. When I get some ‘me’ time, and get to just veg in front of Netflix for a couple of hours, I feel recharged. I think it’s uber important to take that time to recharge, even when it seems most important to keep pushing forward with no breaks. It’s really funny though, because if you had asked me this question a year ago, I would have fought you tooth and nail if you wanted me to sit my butt down and take a breather. I didn’t prioritize my breaks as well as the drive, and it exhausted me, but I thought it was just all part of the process and my duty to sacrifice. Luckily this was not forever, so I’m grateful for my ability to adapt and make changes when necessary. The ebb and flow of growth as I charge through life is such a delicate balancing act. And I believe, it’s that give-and-take as we figure out those hairline triggers that set off those chains of events of life experiences, that we call growth. So in order for me to grow, I need to take time to recharge, and I love it when I do. Yay me.

 

 

 

photo cred: google