Almost everybody has had a first love. Someone whose last name you doodled all in your notebooks until your pen bled through the paper. Someone who you pictured making a life with, raising a family with, and getting old with. But sometimes it doesn’t always work out the way you expect it to. Unforeseen circumstances block pathways to your happily ever after.  And make you forge a new path that was totally unexpected, but this doesn’t always have to be bad.

But see now, I’ve got a problem. I’m not even a follow your heart kind of gal. I’m pretty calculated and precise. Probably why I originally had chosen to be a doctor. I think first and act never sometimes. But I usually try to do things I know are good for me. So even though it seems like my heart is permanently stuck to someone from my past, I can kind of turn it on and off like a light switch. Is this good, you ask? Probably not. Isn’t that kind of like repression and avoidance? Yeah, probably so. But will it all turn out ok in the end? Absolutely.

So, now that I’ve obscurely started this post as vaguely with no details as possible (really sorry about that) I can kind of go into a little history and background…

I recently ended a “friendship” with an ex. (Can you really ever be friends with an ex?) I usually cut my exes off completely and never contact them again, but for some reason, this one I hung on to. Maybe because it was at a time of my life that I needed someone familiar, someone that was already well versed in Miyadom and all her wonderful quirks. Or maybe it was a weakness on my part, not wanting to be alone. Either way it made quite a mess for me.

Even with my repeated admonishments that we would never ever ever… get back together (I love that Taylor Swift) and not allowing for any kind of reconnecting or bonding on my part, somehow, he still held onto a possibility that after all was said and done, we would get back together. So much so that when he got drunk, he decided to call my current partner and challenge him to a duel (Oh, if only this were King Arthur times, it would make more sense, but no, I’m talking about 2017, and yes this really happened) So, secondhand, I heard of all the things that were said, and how he really believed that he would get me back. But none of this in a nice way.

Way more trouble than it was worth. So I ended it. And now I’ve shared it with the world. Or my 3 followers…